January 2010
I think I can honestly qualify 95% of my...
drexin:
Someone licked my face last night in an effort to get me to go home with him.
I licked a guys face last night. It was sweaty. And salty.
Also, still wearing my vomit dress but it's ok...
I AM GOING TO SHOWER RIGHT NOW.
I went to Lit last night and I was already drunk...
I'm totally like a really interesting person. →
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This comes up when you image search Spanish...
Spanish guitar music makes my pants fall off....
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SUCH IS LIFE.
So I was grocery shopping at my favorite store Deals and as I was trying to juggle my overfilled basket and my gallon jug of water I walked around the corner, almost straight into THE CUTEST GUY I HAVE SEEN IN LIKE TWO MONTHS. Cutest guy looked at me in the eye and smiled. I averted my gaze and shuffled away.
SEND THE REPAIR GUY RIGHT OVER HERE CAUSE I’M BROKEN.
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I totally want to teach sex ed. to a group of...
I want to demonstrate how to put on a condom and then get volunteers and embarrass them so much. I hate teenagers.
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WatchI’m really sorry that I’m bringing you into my masturbatory viewing of this music video.
Fun fact of the day: my high school boyfriend's...
(via valerina)
JIMMY CARTER HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME. I LOVE FACTS AND TOLD PEOPLE AT THE BAR STORIES ABOUT CALVIN COOLIDGE LAST NIGHT. I don’t think they were as impressed as they should have been.
I really, really, really, really really really...
My plan of action to get this to happen is:
Always make sure to wear at least one item of brightly colored clothing.
Carry some obscure book.
Make creepily extended eye contact with every attractive dude I see.
Start conversations at the bar and smile a lot and then leave in the middle of some fascinating topic.
Tell strangers that I meet that it is my goal to have a missed connection...
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SHEEEEEEEEEEET, I love when my shuffle plays Pop,...
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I just accidentally took a video of me singing...
This happened through text.
Me: Dude, I'm looking at Stuff Hipsters Hate and I think I'm a hipster. This stinks so much. Apparently they hate North Face fleeces as much as I do.
Liz: You like invented hipster in 1997.
Me: Ugh, you're being such a non-pillow right now.
“Remember last August when I said I wanted to bring back Dynasty inspired nude...”
– i dont want to be friends with you if you dont understand why this is prose at its best.
(2birds1blog)(via sparkleneelysparkle)
It’s so hard being a trendsetter. Like in 7th grade when I wore superflare cords and Nicole Lamica made fun of me and she was a bitch but whatev and then when we...
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I can't even afford to pay my attention.
This just popped into and is now taking up all the space in my brain.
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HOLY FUCKSHIT GODDAMN.
I have been living here since September and I just found out just now that the soul food buffet at the end of my block opens at 8am and serves breakfast, INCLUDING PANCAKES. I feel like the most amazing ever right now.
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If any chefs are looking for a gf, I am totally...
Is there somewhere online to watch Jersey Shore...
I live a cable free lifestyle.
I think I pulled my back.
Those whippersnappers on the train better start giving up their seats for me.
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Watchyesyasiyes:
This is absolutely insane! There’s a small German community in Brazil with a rate of twins 1000% above the global average. Many of these twins are blond-haired and blue-eyed. In Nazi Mystery: Twins from Brazil, National Geographic Explorer investigates this phenomenon.
One scientist believes it’s the result of escaped Nazi scientist Joseph Mengele, who may have continued his...